Silly Cow by Ben Elton

Directed by Matt Gray

Performance Dates: 23rd to 28th September 2024

The Play

Set in 1991, Doris Wallace has everything a tough tabloid columnist could want: a toy boy with a handy supply of drugs, a lovely PA who bends over backwards to make sure she has all she wants, and the prospect of her own TV show.

But then, for some reason everything starts to go horribly wrong…

A hilarious satire of late 80s/early 90s tabloid journalism where nothing was off limits, and the private lives of the rich and famous were fair game to the ‘Red Top’ newspapers.

Ben Elton is the legendary comedian, author, and comedy writer behind comedy classics such as Blackadder, The Young Ones, The Thin Blue Line, and, more recently, Upstart Crow.

The Characters:

  • DORIS WALLACE – Doris is a hard-nosed, bitchy TV columnist who delights in ridiculing everyone she reviews. She treats all those around her with witty contempt. This is an amazing character role for an actress to play as Doris is a ‘no holds barred’ kind of woman. There is literally nowhere that she will not go!
  • PEGGY – Peggy is PA to the bitchy TV columnist Doris Wallace. She bears the brunt of Doris’s acidic humour with dignity and grace. However, is she all she seems?
  • EDUARDO – Eduardo is the toy boy to Doris. He spends most of his time stoned and is a bit of a waste of space. Classic ‘himbo’.
  • SIDNEY – Sidney is the sleazy tabloid editor who Doris has promised to work for but she has no intention of honouring that promise.
  • DOUGLAS – Douglas is the long-suffering accountant to the acidic Doris. He is trying desperately to keep her business in order and gets no thanks at all from her for his efforts.

No specific ages are 100% set in stone. Eduardo will need to appear to be younger than Doris (as he is her toy boy).

Due the events in the play itself we can hopefully work around the ages so don’t be put off from attending! Ideally, we are looking for actors not afraid to embrace broad comedy, much in the style of Ben Elton’s other work.

Copies of the play have been ordered and will be available from the box office very soon.

*You do not have to be a member of the Bancroft Players to audition, but you will be expected to join if you are cast.

Any questions – contact me via

Audition Dates

Auditions Closed

  • Monday 15th Jul 2024 at  7:45pm
  • Wednesday 17th Jul 2024 at  7:45pm


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